Failure is essential to learning: what if we changed our perspective?

“There is no failure, only learning.” This quote, often attributed to Nelson Mandela, sounds inspiring. But how many of us truly believe it? How many, when faced with a professional setback or a disappointing school report, can turn it into a driver rather than a barrier?

Failure – A Taboo Word in Our Societies

In our companies, schools, and families, failure is often seen as an end point. A punishment. Proof of incompetence or inadequacy. The spotless résumé. The linear academic path. The business plan that succeeds on the first try.

And yet, as professionals and parents, we know that reality is quite different. Behind every solid skill and lasting success lies a series of attempts, trial and error… and failures.

So why is it so difficult to accept?

The Brain, Failure, and Development

Cognitive psychology and neuroscience offer fascinating insights. When we fail, two types of mental responses can occur:

• The "fixed mindset", described by psychologist Carol Dweck, interprets failure as proof that “you’re not good at this.” The result: demotivation, withdrawal, and even giving up.

• The "growth mindset" sees our abilities as malleable and failure as a useful signal for improvement. Here, mistakes become valuable. The brain re-engages, adjusts, and learns.

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The difference? It depends on our environment, our culture, and how we view failure—whether we value the end result or the learning process.

Tools to overcome failure

Turning Failure into an Ally

Shift your perspective and make failure a driver of success

In companies and at home, there are three key levers to making failure a powerful tool for growth:

1. Normalize Mistakes

Whether it’s a failed project or a poor grade, creating a space where failure is expected and integrated into the process helps remove its stigma. This also means valuing honest feedback, constructive criticism, and avoiding snap judgments.

Example: In team meetings or family conversations, why not share a “failure of the week” and what it taught you?

2. Encourage Experimentation

In a constantly evolving world, key skills include adaptability, creativity, and resilience. Encouraging trial and error helps develop professionals and students capable of handling uncertainty and navigating the unknown.

Example: As managers, give your teams room to test new ideas. As parents, praise initiative—even when imperfect—instead of expecting perfection. Letting children make mistakes helps them build autonomy and pride in overcoming challenges.

3. Build Emotional Resilience

Failure impacts self-esteem. Supporting someone through it means helping them put words to the emotions it stirs—frustration, shame, anger—while keeping a constructive outlook.

In both companies and families, this involves authentic dialogue where everyone learns to express and welcome vulnerability. Showing weakness is, in truth, a form of authenticity and courage.

From Endured Failure to Chosen Failure

Top innovators, elite athletes, entrepreneurs, and researchers know this well: they succeed not despite their failures, but because of them.

As professionals and parents, have we prepared our teams and our children for this? Have we created environments that allow for imperfection and turn setbacks into stepping stones toward success?

The real question is not: How can we avoid failure?But rather: How can we learn to fail well?