Student: How to ask for help

Here’s a practical guide to support students in seeking the psychological help they need.

“Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it's a demonstration of clarity and courage.”

Every academic year brings excitement and discovery, but also its share of challenges. While some students thrive on the enthusiasm and joy of learning, many face pressure from grades, isolation, mental overload, and uncertainty about their future. Studies show that stress, anxiety, and even depression are common among students. Yet, despite these warning signs, far too few dare to ask for help—often not due to lack of will or awareness, but because it’s more complex than that.

Why is asking for help so hard?

Psychology reveals several common barriers:

• Fear of judgment: Worrying about being seen as “weak,” “incompetent,” or not up to the task prevents many from speaking out.

• Social comparison bias: Thinking “everyone else is handling this better” leads to shame and silence.

• The myth of autonomy: Believing that success must be achieved alone encourages excessive self-reliance.

• Lack of awareness of resources: Many aren’t sure whom to approach or how to express a clear request for help.

That’s why caregivers—parents, teachers, tutors, and professionals—have a vital role in fostering an environment where speaking out is welcomed and supported.

Three psychological levers to change the dynamic

1. Normalize seeking help

   Open up about your own vulnerabilities and past times when you needed support. This breaks the stigma and makes it easier to ask for help.

2. Translate weak signals

   Constant fatigue, social isolation, mood swings, procrastination, loss of motivation… These are silent calls for help. It’s better to ask, “Want to talk?” than to stay silent.

3. Acknowledge the courage of asking

   Thank a young person who has spoken up. Show them that seeking help is an emotional strength, not a failure.

Different levers are proposed by psychology

Practical tools to guide and support

1. Where to ask for help?

• University health services (doctors, psychologists, wellness workshops)

• Listening centers set up by schools or campuses

• Student mental-health associations

• Free helplines like SOS Amitié, Nightline, or Fil Santé Jeunes

• Private psychologists (often reimbursed up to 8 sessions via the “Mon Psy” program)

  
  

2. How to ask for help?

• “I’m not feeling well and don’t know how to explain it. Could you just listen?”

• “I need to talk to someone. Can you help me find the right person?”There’s no “right” way to ask. What matters is breaking the silence—even a vague phrase, a text message, or an indirect question can be a first step.

  
  

3. What can parents or professionals do?

• Avoid minimizing the issue: “It’s not that bad” can be deeply hurtful.

• Respond without judgment.

• Celebrate the act of speaking: “You were brave to share that.”

• Be connectors: guide them, offer to make a call together.

Changing culture and redefining success

What if success also meant knowing when to take care of oneself, ask for help, and accept support? Changing the norm around asking for help means shifting from performance-at-all-costs to mental wellbeing. It gives our young people a model where mental health is valued—not hidden.

Recognizing our vulnerabilities isn’t a weakness; it’s often a source of strength and growth.

ESPÉ’s commitment

At ESPÉ (École Supérieure de Psychologie Européenne), we’re convinced that true achievement combines emotional balance and psychological support. As a psychology institution, we work to destigmatize mental health struggles, train care professionals, and equip young people to cope with the pressures of academic life. Learning to ask for help is learning to take care of yourself—and that is at the heart of our educational approach.